It's January 15th. In any normal year, this would mean that, yet again the Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday is going to prevent my Dad's birthday card from arriving on time. This year, it means we're a handful of days from Obama's swearing in. Sitting in my apartment tonight, Sarah Fisher and I spoke for a while. About life things, school things, and about Barack. We both have the feeling that we really can do anything. And part of that feeling comes from the energy that has come from this most recent campaign's result. I'm so hopeful and so happy, I know I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight because I'm all geared up again. While I want to keep the negativity to a minimum--in general and in the next few days in particular--I will say this:
I watch videos of Barack's speeches, confessionals of his supporters, and celebrity campaign tributes, and I feel so privileged to have the particular set of values and views that I do. Charles meets Barack is a video of an elderly campaign volunteer who gets to meet the now-president-elect. I don't like Barack Obama because kind, elderly men have nice things to say about him. But I like Barack Obama because I truly believe he cares about kind, elderly men. The bitterness and hate that comes from the mouths of Republicans today blows my mind. How can anyone--politically involved or not--be happy with themselves harboring so much weight on their hearts. I am not one for roses and cake, but come on. Can you conservatives/republican/neo-cons/Palin-lovers out there honestly tell me that being whatever of the previously mentioned things you claim to be makes you happy? It's all so depressing and mean.
Hateful is really the best word. And all this bullshit about personal responsibility. Give me a break. While personal responsibility might go out the window when people manipulate that bargain to their own advantage and screw their middle managers out of a livelihood past age 55. Of course individuals must be held accountable for their actions. I love that this is the argument most conservatives now cling to, because they think they can pin it on us welfare-loving-pot-spoking liberals. No. No. No no no no no. Just THINK for a moment about the fact that you live in a country. A country with borders to protect, roads to pave, electricity to distribute, food to keep safe, and business to keep honest. What else do you think the government is for? But really, it all gets back to hate. Why do you find it appealing to hate gays, hate poor people, hate Muslims, women who would rather be allowed to choose and those who support them, the UN, healthcare, the French! for god's sake. And truly, oftentimes in God's name.
It just sounds so terribly exhausting to me. I don't care for bad drivers, the Olive Garden, or people who dress inappropriately for their environment, but those are minor, forgivable offenses that will not spark a race riot or class war within our borders. They are also personal decisions that I have made and for which I take responsibility. I do not intend to force my own driving etiquette on others, nor do I protest my friends going to the Olive Garden or dressing poorly. Well, I protest but only because I love them. How one could be comfortable harboring so much hate towards specific groups blows my mind. I can't even say I hate republicans. I will concede that some I count as friends, and others I might understand their positions (if well researched and defended), but the inability for anyone to not be overwhelmed with hope when it is more necessary than anytime before in our lives baffles me.
Stand up and say that you disagree, table the destructive hate and God-speak, and understand that things are worse than the boss has been telling you. And know why we're all so excited. Finally--FINALLY--the (almost) boss can pronounce 'nuclear'.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Friday, January 9, 2009
The DC for tomorrow
Yesterday, I visited the newly-renovated American History museum, mostly to see the famous Star-Spangled Banner. The exhibit is beautiful. A sculpture hangs where the flag once did, and behind it is a dark hallway the middle of which holds the flag, now laid flat. What follows the flag is a series of TVs playing scenes centered around the American flag while various versions of the national anthem played in the background. The whole thing was moving, and I stayed around long enough for the tape to loop through so I could hear Jimi Hendrix's version of the Star-Spangled Banner twice. Walking around the mall, by the Capitol and through the city that I often consider moving back to after graduation, it became very obvious how different my DC life would be should I decide to return.
The first I got to know of DC was in college, and the year I spent in the city afterwards was with Nicole. My life partner, (if she hadn't found Jim) we drank cocktails on Tuesdays on our balcony, cooked, walked, shopped, lunched, and partied together. I have college friends who still live here, but it's clear that if I come back, my life will be entirely different. And that's good. I can't live the 22-year-old carefree life forever, and my attraction to DC the second time around will have to be one of professional nature. But it's a city I do love, and walking down First street between the newly-renovated Capitol complex and the Supreme Court and Library of Congress I felt that pull to come back. Those buildings are where things happen and no matter how hard I seem to try to distance myself from them, I always find myself wanting to go back.
The first I got to know of DC was in college, and the year I spent in the city afterwards was with Nicole. My life partner, (if she hadn't found Jim) we drank cocktails on Tuesdays on our balcony, cooked, walked, shopped, lunched, and partied together. I have college friends who still live here, but it's clear that if I come back, my life will be entirely different. And that's good. I can't live the 22-year-old carefree life forever, and my attraction to DC the second time around will have to be one of professional nature. But it's a city I do love, and walking down First street between the newly-renovated Capitol complex and the Supreme Court and Library of Congress I felt that pull to come back. Those buildings are where things happen and no matter how hard I seem to try to distance myself from them, I always find myself wanting to go back.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
In a New York Minute
The moments that seem to change our lives the most seem to often be those that are un-contemplated and brief. Epiphanies, moments of clarity, snap judgments, and rash decisions lead us down the long and winding road we choose. I always say that every Christmas when I spend a few days and nights in New York City, my desire to live there is renewed. That is true again this year. There is an energy to which I've always felt drawn. There are few things in life that come at you with fierceness, and my goal--my need--to live in New York is strong. It's not impossible that I will hate it, but it's something I have to try. And this is not just about moving to a city. It's the complete and utter adoption of a philosophy. Recently, I've had the experience several times when people look at me cross-eyed when I try to explain certain life goals I have. I can respect people that don't want the kind of life I do, but it makes me realize just how powerful and rare it is for people to do something completely out of the ordinary. I'm not going to make it my goal to be extraordinary, but I will commit to taking the first step to each and every idea and goal that inspires a soul-deep fire. I want more than to live without regrets, I want action on a pipe dream to be second nature. Like the song says, "if you find somebody to love in this world, you better hang on tooth and nail". Fighting for what you want, and what you love, and what you need, is what life is all about. It doesn't always have to be a fight, but it should be hard, it's supposed to be hard.
2008 In Review
Everyone talks about resolutions this time of year. You make one, stick to it for a week, and then forget it as the days become longer and you busy yourself forgetting a new year has come. We have such high expectations for the years on January 1st and while there are plenty of year-end reviews to go around, I like to think that remembering what 2008 brought to me might help me have a happy and productive 2009. So here it is, a year in the life...
January: My birthday month was a cold one in DC, and I ended the month with a trip to LA to visit Jared. I finished up my graduate school applications and I think it was around that time that I started to think seriously about Texas as an option. It was, until that point, a "haha, wouldn't it be funny if I went to school in Texas" sort of thing. My first-ever west coast trip was highlighted with a jump in the Pacific ocean at sunset on January 30th. It was freezing.
February: The big event that I remember from February was when we pulled off the perfect storm surprise birthday party for Joe. We got tickets to a women's basketball game on a Sunday and got pizza and beer for pre-gaming. Sam--in what might be the greatest acting performance of all time--called him to say that a pipe had exploded and her kitchen was full of water. Being an excellent friend and handyman, he and Steve jetted over to her apartment to find all of us waiting. I also got into UT and NYU on the 26th. So that was awesome.
March: Thailand. Hands down the most awesome 5 days of work I ever had. Business class is the way to fly when you're in the air for 14 hours or whatever it was. Spring in DC. I also made my final decision about graduate school at the end of the month in an email entitled "Forever Fear the Turtle, Someday hook 'em horns" to my freshman year girls.
April: ...As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that the majority of my major events come at the end of each month. Interesting. April's major throw-down was Maryland Day, ie, the greatest day of the year. Nicole was initiated this year and what is probably my favorite picture of her ever was taken. Decked out in Terps gear, highly intoxicated and on the phone. Fantastic.
May: It started to get very real that I was moving at the start of the summer. Graduation for the 08ers came and went and we probably had many parties. Nicole and I went to Philly for a weekend to see Sarah, during which I think we came up with the Triple Spoon. It could have been earlier, but I think it was then.
June: Another month-end event, the Lake. I was there for 3 days and as usual, it was fantastic. There is no place on earth like it. The water and mountains ability to completely slow you down and erase any tension that might reside in your body is incredible. Sadly, my tentative 2009 resolution (to spend the summer in Africa) conflicts with my yearly pilgrimage to the Adirondacks but it will be there when I get back.
July: My last day of work was the 31st, and it was some time in that last week that Whitney and I split two bottles of wine and cleaned my furniture-less apartment. We literally slept on my foam mattress cover on the floor because we'd given all my stuff away. Nicole the week before that and we cried. A lot.
August: Road trip of a lifetime, the true taking-off point for this blog (the maintenance of which is another resolution). The drive from DC to Austin was honestly one of the greatest experiences of my life. Spending time with my parents, seeing parts of America that I would not see otherwise--especially the time in Mississippi--was great.
September: My new life in Austin really started to take off. Classes, friends, football, warm weather that just wouldn't quit. ACL weekend, which was the last in September is when I really gelled with some of my great friends.
October: School stress was intense, but Sarah and J's visit ranks near the top as far as Austin weekends go. Flag football domination continued, and it sort of started to get chilly. But not really. My concept of fall was lost, and I got very homesick when the leaves didn't change colors. Ironically, it was around this time that I really fell in love with Austin and started to embrace it as home.
November: Stressful. That's really all I have to say. I spent a lot of time in the library, hopped on caffeine, pulling John Nash-style study sessions for Kuperman's little class of horrors.
December: End of the month shenanigans were amazing, NYE in NYC was fantastic and made me want to live there (again). But leaving Austin was harder than I thought it would be, I miss it a lot. A lot has gone down this year, and I'm hoping that my resolutions (find a badass internship, and spend the summer in Africa or NYC, keep up the blog, and cook more) are within reach.
Best of everything to all for 2009.
January: My birthday month was a cold one in DC, and I ended the month with a trip to LA to visit Jared. I finished up my graduate school applications and I think it was around that time that I started to think seriously about Texas as an option. It was, until that point, a "haha, wouldn't it be funny if I went to school in Texas" sort of thing. My first-ever west coast trip was highlighted with a jump in the Pacific ocean at sunset on January 30th. It was freezing.
February: The big event that I remember from February was when we pulled off the perfect storm surprise birthday party for Joe. We got tickets to a women's basketball game on a Sunday and got pizza and beer for pre-gaming. Sam--in what might be the greatest acting performance of all time--called him to say that a pipe had exploded and her kitchen was full of water. Being an excellent friend and handyman, he and Steve jetted over to her apartment to find all of us waiting. I also got into UT and NYU on the 26th. So that was awesome.
March: Thailand. Hands down the most awesome 5 days of work I ever had. Business class is the way to fly when you're in the air for 14 hours or whatever it was. Spring in DC. I also made my final decision about graduate school at the end of the month in an email entitled "Forever Fear the Turtle, Someday hook 'em horns" to my freshman year girls.
April: ...As I'm writing this, I'm realizing that the majority of my major events come at the end of each month. Interesting. April's major throw-down was Maryland Day, ie, the greatest day of the year. Nicole was initiated this year and what is probably my favorite picture of her ever was taken. Decked out in Terps gear, highly intoxicated and on the phone. Fantastic.
May: It started to get very real that I was moving at the start of the summer. Graduation for the 08ers came and went and we probably had many parties. Nicole and I went to Philly for a weekend to see Sarah, during which I think we came up with the Triple Spoon. It could have been earlier, but I think it was then.
June: Another month-end event, the Lake. I was there for 3 days and as usual, it was fantastic. There is no place on earth like it. The water and mountains ability to completely slow you down and erase any tension that might reside in your body is incredible. Sadly, my tentative 2009 resolution (to spend the summer in Africa) conflicts with my yearly pilgrimage to the Adirondacks but it will be there when I get back.
July: My last day of work was the 31st, and it was some time in that last week that Whitney and I split two bottles of wine and cleaned my furniture-less apartment. We literally slept on my foam mattress cover on the floor because we'd given all my stuff away. Nicole the week before that and we cried. A lot.
August: Road trip of a lifetime, the true taking-off point for this blog (the maintenance of which is another resolution). The drive from DC to Austin was honestly one of the greatest experiences of my life. Spending time with my parents, seeing parts of America that I would not see otherwise--especially the time in Mississippi--was great.
September: My new life in Austin really started to take off. Classes, friends, football, warm weather that just wouldn't quit. ACL weekend, which was the last in September is when I really gelled with some of my great friends.
October: School stress was intense, but Sarah and J's visit ranks near the top as far as Austin weekends go. Flag football domination continued, and it sort of started to get chilly. But not really. My concept of fall was lost, and I got very homesick when the leaves didn't change colors. Ironically, it was around this time that I really fell in love with Austin and started to embrace it as home.
November: Stressful. That's really all I have to say. I spent a lot of time in the library, hopped on caffeine, pulling John Nash-style study sessions for Kuperman's little class of horrors.
December: End of the month shenanigans were amazing, NYE in NYC was fantastic and made me want to live there (again). But leaving Austin was harder than I thought it would be, I miss it a lot. A lot has gone down this year, and I'm hoping that my resolutions (find a badass internship, and spend the summer in Africa or NYC, keep up the blog, and cook more) are within reach.
Best of everything to all for 2009.
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Snowy Day
Other than a description of today in Rhode Island, The Snowy Day is the title of one of my favorite books from childhood. A little boy wakes up and finds it has snowed overnight. He goes out and does the requisite snowman-construction, followed by snow-angel making, and other such fun. He makes a snowball and brings it inside, and is devastated when he finds it melted the next morning. Being home in the snow--and separated by only a few days from 80 degree weather--makes me realize just what the Texans miss growing up without snow. While it was weird, warm weather in November and into December was oddly comforting. None of that whipping wind and cold ears that you get on cold nights in New England. Fewer gray days, less vitamin D deficiency, and more warm sunny days make for an obvious absence of seasonal affectedness disorder. (Even though that's just a nicer way of saying you want to be on prozac). But coming home and then getting a real, genuine New England-style snowstorm that resembles the snow days of my youth reminded me of why I really am being honest when I say I love winter. Standing out in the yard in my puffy winter coat and boots, you're surrounded by an incredible silence. It is unlike any sort of silence you can find elsewhere, no birds chirping, no water moving, no wind rustling leaves. Just the almost inaudible sound of snowflakes hitting the ground, the trees, the roof. It's gorgeous. And whatever I do for now, and however much I fall in love with Texas, I know I'll have to end up somewhere there's a little bit of "winter weather".
Friday, December 5, 2008
Finals and Last Names
My blogging has suffered from the run-up to the end of the semester, but I'm sure adequate boredom will ensue upon my return to Rhode Island. Anyway, this week has been insane. Two very late nights, two papers, a presentation, an interview, and the Dean's holiday party. Through all of it (and hopefully I'll have good news about a cool research opportunity next week, fingers crossed) I noticed something trivial and awesome. My friends in Texas have awesome last names. Below, last names and characters.
Dooley (aka; Dools): Never a dull moment.
Zackel: My partner in crime in Kup's classroom of torture, we nerd it up together pretty often. And we've been known to find ourselves out on Burnett road in need of Panda.
Kosoris: Football all-star.
Ludher (aka; Sludher): my birthday twin
Elder (aka; Kelder): fellow white-girl-lover-of-gangster-rap
Levy (aka; Blevy): loves bottle service
It reminds me of my Maryland friends and their insistence on emails-as-nicknames. And yes, Swilly is back... it has (unfortunately) caught on with this group. Sort of.
Dooley (aka; Dools): Never a dull moment.
Zackel: My partner in crime in Kup's classroom of torture, we nerd it up together pretty often. And we've been known to find ourselves out on Burnett road in need of Panda.
Kosoris: Football all-star.
Ludher (aka; Sludher): my birthday twin
Elder (aka; Kelder): fellow white-girl-lover-of-gangster-rap
Levy (aka; Blevy): loves bottle service
It reminds me of my Maryland friends and their insistence on emails-as-nicknames. And yes, Swilly is back... it has (unfortunately) caught on with this group. Sort of.
Monday, December 1, 2008
In the Airport - 11/26
What qualifies as news in the mainstream media is insane. Sitting in the DFW airport the day before thanksgiving, after a late wake-up, CNN is showing a piece on people who believe they have been abducted by aliens. They just wrapped up a brief discussion about the Obama administration’s apparent decision to keep Secretary Robert Gates on as head of the Defense department. That’s news. The newly elected president opting for a bi-partisan and pragmatic choice for Sec Def in the midst of a financial crisis. Alien abduction portrayed through art? Not news. The next piece was about a guy who had flown for a few minutes using a jet pack. I remember when I started thinking that the Today Show was turning into a circus. I think the Today Show used to be a morning news show, but by the time I graduated high school it was nothing of the sort. People (including my parents) chose instead to watch CNN or one of the other cable news networks, because they tended to focus on actual issues. I’m wondering if CNN is the new Today show. They did a terrible reporting job during the campaign, as did most of the major news networks. I get 99% of my news from the internet. Online editions of old standard US papers, magazines, blogs, international papers. CNN was with me on election night, sure, but we were more interested in checking 538 every 10 seconds.
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